I like purses. Almost as much as I like shoes. In fact, I rarely get new shoes without also picking out some sort of coordinating handbag. But my most recent handbag purchase might have broken me of that habit.
Icky Purse
It was a cute purse. And it called me from the other side of the store (which is not an easy thing to do). What’s more, it was on sale. How could I resist?
If only I had x-ray vision…
The stripes on the purse were intoxicating but what I found inside the purse was sobering. The next morning as I cleaned out the paper that was stuffed inside to give the purse shape, I noticed an unusual heaviness to the bag. Something else was in my new purse.
I turned the purse upside down and shook it. Nothing. I turned the purse inside out and shook it. Nothing. Whatever was in the bag was between the pocket layer and the outside fabric of the purse.
How is that possible? The only explanation was that there was some sort of tear or hole in one of the pockets.
Sure enough. The corner of the small zipper pocket was shredded. For a moment I was angered by the fact that my new purse was flawed. But seconds later, my anger was replaced by shock when I discovered the source of the unwanted weight.
A few rusty pennies.
A few strips of shredded paper, like what you might see as evidence that a mouse is inhabiting your residence.
A small, travel-size bottle of hand lotion.
A stick of stale gum.
On a normal day, all of these things could be found in any of my other purses. But these items did not belong to me.
I suddenly felt icky. The feeling you get when you’re totally creeped out by something–like when you see a dead rodent or a really big spider where it shouldn’t be.
Needless to say, I was a little late for work that morning, between my little investigation and the trip back to the store where I purchased someone else’s personal belongings. The clerk didn’t seem overly surprised, which annoyed me just a little. Her only explanation: someone must have returned this purse without realizing there was a hole that had swallowed her lotion and gum. That’s why I got it on sale–because it was used merchandise. Her reasoning did little to comfort me, but she did take the purse back, replace it with another from stock, and give me a 25% coupon off my next purchase.
But that purchase may never come… at least not until the ickyness has subsided and definitely not until I’ve thoroughly inspected every millimeter of every inch of every cloth inside and outside of the new product.
In the words of Ian Hunter, once bitten and twice shy, baby.
